You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
