I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
