You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
