Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
