I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
