I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
