Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
