Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
