apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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