allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
