worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He better not be in your backpack
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize