i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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