sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
