South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
