i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
