Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Randomize
