Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
