is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Randomize
