Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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