is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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