i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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