i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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