How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
