You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
