just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
