The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
