bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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