does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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