Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
