I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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