I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
