Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
