my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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