The maid of honor just puked.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
