I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
