i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
