So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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