Whod you bang
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
