so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
