I'm pants shitting drunk right now
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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