just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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