So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
She's JV to your varsity
Your dad touched me again.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
