I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize