YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
