Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
and i looked up. we had an audience...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
