conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
