dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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