so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
