I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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