She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
