a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize