I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
