i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I didn't notice because vodka
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
