she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
please come you make the beer taste better
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
