This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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