I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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