You work out of a Hotel?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
