ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
